You know it's a hot Arizona day when...
You take the temperature of your dashboard and it reads 215 degrees!


The life guard jumps in the pool even though nobody is drowning!


You only get 3 mpg due to the rate at which gas evaporates out of your tank.


Your a/c runs all day long just to keep it down to 90 degrees.


You'd pay $100 for 8 oz of water.


You have a car fire more than once every 10 miles


the tools in your trunk are hotter than your over-heating radiator


water turns to vapor before it comes out your garden hose thats been in the shade of the garden furniture


you can't remember your name


Lance Armstrong gets completely worn out after riding 2 miles!


your whole car melted


birds crash into stuff


nobody shows up for your yard sale


there's 5 gallons of sweat built up in the seat of your car


Everyone in the whole state is either in their air conditioned car, office or house, or in the pool!


every traffic accident is a hit-and-run, because nobody wants to get out of their car until they get to an air conditioned building.




You notice your car overheating before you drive it.


your car starts sweating!


cops only chase you if you exceed 100mph, because that's when their A/C really kicks in


you ask your boss for extra work so you can be in the air conditioning as much as possible


you're not the only person in the emergency room with a steering wheel stuck to his fingers


Hot air balloons can't go up, because the air outside is hotter than the air inside.


Airplanes can't land because the asphalt is too soft.


You need a spatula to remove your clothing.


the beer gut and big butt don't keep you from wearing shorts.


You are sweating in both directions -- up and down!


You can open and drive your car without touching the car door or the steering wheel.


You would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.


The politicians take their hands out of your pockets to fan themselves.


People walking down the sidewalk spontaneously burst into flames.


You've been getting hot flashes, and you're a man.


A $20 surcharge is added to your bill when you eat at air-conditioned restaurants.


Sunscreen is sold at the front of the checkout counter, a formula less than 30 spf is a joke, and you wear it just to go shopping.


Your brother's braces make blisters on his lips.


You can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.


You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.


You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.


when even the weeds are wilting


The swans in the park come in "original recipe" and "extra crispy."


it's above 100 degrees at midnight!


A scalding hot shower still cools you down.


"Dress Code" is meaningless at high schools and universities. Picture lingerie ads.


You can't remember which faucet is the hot water and which is the cold water


You watch "The Day After Tomorrow" and envy the people frozen in the snow.


You catch on fire.


when you floor your car and the temp gauge buries be for the speedomter


You sit in your car with the AC off and the windows closed just to cool down...


your cup of hot coffee gives YOU hypothermia!


the cactii are smoldering.


a '72 Impala overheats.


ice is on the endangered-species list!


Chickens are laying boiled eggs.


Archie looks like this


you reach for the seat belt and you get second degree burns from the metal part.


your HP 1740 burst int flames.


the thermometer says "get me off the sun!"


you go to the sauna to cool off


when ur friends and u look like a fish inside ur car cause the sweat has filled to the roof


when hell feels like it has frozen over


you can fry an egg on the hood of your car


you eat an habernero and you can't taste it


Your Gas Tank exlodes into flames


your car boils over sitting in the garage


the mercury in the thermoter bubbles.


you say not today honey


hey i don,t have to cut the grass IT MELTED


you dont get charged with indecent expousure


when your arm pits need windshield wipers


The sun scares the clouds away


The north pole is an ideal getaway


People start to move to Fargo North Dakota


yer tires melt to the road


your Ford Taurus Transmission overheats, oh wait, that's all the time. :( (WTFG Ford!)


when youre '72 impala bursts in to flames


when youre swetin in a 32 degree pool of water


you get a burnt in the shade


When you date a fat chick just for the shade


Minions from Hell go there for vacation, but return home early to get relief from the heat.


When you're at the zoo and you jump in the Polar Bear exibit.


when you turn on the heat to cool off


when you drink water and it evaporates before you can drink it


When your gas pedal melts to the floor.


You move to Louisiana to cool off.


when people are running every where without any clothes on


The metal on your seat acts as a branding iron.


when your crapy toyta burst's into flames


when your ford over heats


chrysler interiors melt. Hey that happens all the time!


you say im melting


Cactus look for shade


You can cook your dinner on the sidewalk.


If you have a red Impala and it fades to pink.


When you bake brownies in your mailbox.


when the water in your water bottle evapourate's Before you Open it


you're relieved to hear it will only be 106 degrees today.


You buy a bag of ice with the groceries just to sit on it for the ride home


you dont have to diet to loose weight, just sweat off the pounds


u cant get your car open


You are in the middle of the dezzert and your car brakes down and you have no water


you are too skinny and you die of how skinny you are


the world caches fire and turns to ashes


you died by melting


you stick to the vinyl seat with through your jeans


when the north pole melts due to arizona's reflective heat


being recluse is seen as actually being a kool and in thing to be


when you ordered meat and u got paste


u look out side and see red


air conditioning sales are through the roof


you steal the ice machine from the supermarket


you floor it but find out the floor melted so you "air it"


toyota makes a recall due to spontaneous combustion


you would rathere live in the ice age then living where you are


people on the highway move 5 mph because the tires are to sticky for the road


leaving the lights on for more than one minute is practicly a death sentence


Hell seems like antarctica


When theres skateboarders in your pool


people pray for a blizzard or a monsoon.


thoughts of a hurricaine seem refreshing.


you say that it im moving to alaska.


After you paint flames on your car,you don't have to remove the masking tape.


The white towel over the steering wheel was your best investment ever.


The BBQ grill Black primer on your 59 Belair is fading and needs a re-paint.


The white interior of the 57 Chevy is 50 deg. cooler than the gold in the 67.


You hate palm trees because they are useless and produce no shade.


You have to Re-solder the pc's on your kenwood CD player about every 2 weeks


The Beer, Ice Cold Beer gets warm bfore you get home with it.


You can leave the car windows down parked in a monsoon,and it will completly dry in 45 minutes.


You pull over in Laveen and jump in the irragation canal to cool off.


You have never seen a Vynil top.


You have never seen a old Impala convertible with a back window.


Meth sales are Bad.


My left inner tie-rod melted.


My 60 Impala has Fused to to car next to it.


You can weld on a glasspack muffler with a metal coathanger and no torch.


You have to Re-tape the busted window on the 57 Plymouth about every other day.


You keep a Six-Pack of Delco Remy Starters in a cooler in the trunk.


Its May, June, July, August, or September.


You actually hose down your cars vynal interior so you can sit down.


You get pulled over and the cop never gets out of his car, he just sits there for a few then drives off.


You can grill steaks well done with grill marks on your seat springs.


Last nights overnight low was 103 degrees.


Pedestrians drop dead.


There are 2 suns in the sky.


The sun stays at high noon for 3 days straight.


Your car windows melt.


Telephone poles combust.


You consider Iraq for vacation.


Your bag of ice melts before you get it to the car.


You take a frozen pizza out of the freezer and cook it on the countertop.


Your car is sagging in the center.


The parking lot at Wal Mart is on fire.


Green lawns are only heard of in fairy tales.


Stop signs wilt.


No one but you lives there.


You literally drive your car into the ground.


You ran a stop light and instead of hitting that other car, you drove right through it like melted butter.


Your washing machine even dries and fluffs your clothes.


That guy riding the bicycle just started walking because his bike melted while he was riding it.


The prison burned down so all the inmates are loose.


The cattle at the ranch are well done and the cattle in the shade are medium rare.


Rain evaporates before it hits the ground (the Virga effect)


Airplanes can't take off because the air is too thin


You see people camped out in the freezer section of your local supermarket.


your hair catches on fire


You have one of those top of the back seat Explosions!!!


You had to remove the Hurst T-Handle.


You pour in another quart of Valvoline 60wt.


Brakes start to fade at 6 mph!!!


You need shade for your Tools!!!


You burn your ass leaning on the fender of a 68 Catalina.


My big floor jack sunk into the street before lifting my Biscayne!!!


Tobassco sauce has a cooling menthol effect.


Your Pontiac has buried all 3 temprature gauges!!!


You have installed Heat-shields for your Heat-shields!!!


You can see the dashboard cracking on the car next to you at the red light.


Mesa Cops have only written 277 D.U.I.'s


Hood Hinges siezed-Up!!!


you have a sweaty ass


you know it's a hot Arizona day when... the whole state declairs clothing banished Add your own You know it's a hot Arizona day when... Add your own You know it's a hot Arizona day when...


you get hot


When soliders would rather go back to Iraq because its cooler!!!!


you don't need a fire to roast marshmallows!


you need new tires daily


your car is a sauna on wheels because it has ABSOLUTELY!!! no AC


your biggest fear is faling from a bike and getting burned by the pavement birds need pot holders for the worms planes cannot take off from airport cant get thrust over 120f TRUE dairy cows have fans going on them day and night TRUE shopping c


The Devil is pissed off, Cause now HELL has Competition.


your house go up in fire


only exhaust manifold paint won't fade in the sun.


blue smoke comes out of your car before you start it.


5 minutes outside and you have a 3rd degree sunburn, no matter what color you are.
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