You know it's a hot Arizona day when...
You take the temperature of your dashboard and it reads 215 degrees!

 

The life guard jumps in the pool even though nobody is drowning!

 

You only get 3 mpg due to the rate at which gas evaporates out of your tank.

 

Your a/c runs all day long just to keep it down to 90 degrees.

 

You'd pay $100 for 8 oz of water.

 

You have a car fire more than once every 10 miles

 

the tools in your trunk are hotter than your over-heating radiator

 

water turns to vapor before it comes out your garden hose thats been in the shade of the garden furniture

 

you can't remember your name

 

Lance Armstrong gets completely worn out after riding 2 miles!

 

your whole car melted

 

birds crash into stuff

 

nobody shows up for your yard sale

 

there's 5 gallons of sweat built up in the seat of your car

 

Everyone in the whole state is either in their air conditioned car, office or house, or in the pool!

 

every traffic accident is a hit-and-run, because nobody wants to get out of their car until they get to an air conditioned building.

 

hallucination!

 

You notice your car overheating before you drive it.

 

your car starts sweating!

 

cops only chase you if you exceed 100mph, because that's when their A/C really kicks in

 

you ask your boss for extra work so you can be in the air conditioning as much as possible

 

you're not the only person in the emergency room with a steering wheel stuck to his fingers

 

Hot air balloons can't go up, because the air outside is hotter than the air inside.

 

Airplanes can't land because the asphalt is too soft.

 

You need a spatula to remove your clothing.

 

the beer gut and big butt don't keep you from wearing shorts.

 

You are sweating in both directions -- up and down!

 

You can open and drive your car without touching the car door or the steering wheel.

 

You would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.

 

The politicians take their hands out of your pockets to fan themselves.

 

People walking down the sidewalk spontaneously burst into flames.

 

You've been getting hot flashes, and you're a man.

 

A $20 surcharge is added to your bill when you eat at air-conditioned restaurants.

 

Sunscreen is sold at the front of the checkout counter, a formula less than 30 spf is a joke, and you wear it just to go shopping.

 

Your brother's braces make blisters on his lips.

 

You can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.

 

You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.

 

You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.

 

when even the weeds are wilting

 

The swans in the park come in "original recipe" and "extra crispy."

 

it's above 100 degrees at midnight!

 

A scalding hot shower still cools you down.

 

"Dress Code" is meaningless at high schools and universities. Picture lingerie ads.

 

You can't remember which faucet is the hot water and which is the cold water

 

You watch "The Day After Tomorrow" and envy the people frozen in the snow.

 

You catch on fire.

 

when you floor your car and the temp gauge buries be for the speedomter

 

You sit in your car with the AC off and the windows closed just to cool down...

 

your cup of hot coffee gives YOU hypothermia!

 

the cactii are smoldering.

 

a '72 Impala overheats.

 

ice is on the endangered-species list!

 

Chickens are laying boiled eggs.

 

Archie looks like this

 

you reach for the seat belt and you get second degree burns from the metal part.

 

your HP 1740 burst int flames.

 

the thermometer says "get me off the sun!"

 

you go to the sauna to cool off

 

when ur friends and u look like a fish inside ur car cause the sweat has filled to the roof

 

when hell feels like it has frozen over

 

you can fry an egg on the hood of your car

 

you eat an habernero and you can't taste it

 

Your Gas Tank exlodes into flames

 

your car boils over sitting in the garage

 

the mercury in the thermoter bubbles.

 

you say not today honey

 

hey i don,t have to cut the grass IT MELTED

 

you dont get charged with indecent expousure

 

when your arm pits need windshield wipers

 

The sun scares the clouds away

 

The north pole is an ideal getaway

 

People start to move to Fargo North Dakota

 

yer tires melt to the road

 

your Ford Taurus Transmission overheats, oh wait, that's all the time. :( (WTFG Ford!)

 

when youre '72 impala bursts in to flames

 

when youre swetin in a 32 degree pool of water

 

you get a burnt in the shade

 

When you date a fat chick just for the shade

 

Minions from Hell go there for vacation, but return home early to get relief from the heat.

 

When you're at the zoo and you jump in the Polar Bear exibit.

 

when you turn on the heat to cool off

 

when you drink water and it evaporates before you can drink it

 

When your gas pedal melts to the floor.

 

You move to Louisiana to cool off.

 

when people are running every where without any clothes on

 

The metal on your seat acts as a branding iron.

 

when your crapy toyta burst's into flames

 

when your ford over heats

 

chrysler interiors melt. Hey that happens all the time!

 

you say im melting

 

Cactus look for shade

 

You can cook your dinner on the sidewalk.

 

If you have a red Impala and it fades to pink.

 

When you bake brownies in your mailbox.

 

when the water in your water bottle evapourate's Before you Open it

 

you're relieved to hear it will only be 106 degrees today.

 

You buy a bag of ice with the groceries just to sit on it for the ride home

 

you dont have to diet to loose weight, just sweat off the pounds

 

u cant get your car open

 

You are in the middle of the dezzert and your car brakes down and you have no water

 

you are too skinny and you die of how skinny you are

 

the world caches fire and turns to ashes

 

you died by melting

 

you stick to the vinyl seat with through your jeans

 

when the north pole melts due to arizona's reflective heat

 

being recluse is seen as actually being a kool and in thing to be

 

when you ordered meat and u got paste

 

u look out side and see red

 

air conditioning sales are through the roof

 

you steal the ice machine from the supermarket

 

you floor it but find out the floor melted so you "air it"

 

toyota makes a recall due to spontaneous combustion

 

you would rathere live in the ice age then living where you are

 

people on the highway move 5 mph because the tires are to sticky for the road

 

leaving the lights on for more than one minute is practicly a death sentence

 

Hell seems like antarctica

 

When theres skateboarders in your pool

 

people pray for a blizzard or a monsoon.

 

thoughts of a hurricaine seem refreshing.

 

you say that it im moving to alaska.

 

After you paint flames on your car,you don't have to remove the masking tape.

 

The white towel over the steering wheel was your best investment ever.

 

The BBQ grill Black primer on your 59 Belair is fading and needs a re-paint.

 

The white interior of the 57 Chevy is 50 deg. cooler than the gold in the 67.

 

You hate palm trees because they are useless and produce no shade.

 

You have to Re-solder the pc's on your kenwood CD player about every 2 weeks

 

The Beer, Ice Cold Beer gets warm bfore you get home with it.

 

You can leave the car windows down parked in a monsoon,and it will completly dry in 45 minutes.

 

You pull over in Laveen and jump in the irragation canal to cool off.

 

You have never seen a Vynil top.

 

You have never seen a old Impala convertible with a back window.

 

Meth sales are Bad.

 

My left inner tie-rod melted.

 

My 60 Impala has Fused to to car next to it.

 

You can weld on a glasspack muffler with a metal coathanger and no torch.

 

You have to Re-tape the busted window on the 57 Plymouth about every other day.

 

You keep a Six-Pack of Delco Remy Starters in a cooler in the trunk.

 

Its May, June, July, August, or September.

 

You actually hose down your cars vynal interior so you can sit down.

 

You get pulled over and the cop never gets out of his car, he just sits there for a few then drives off.

 

You can grill steaks well done with grill marks on your seat springs.

 

Last nights overnight low was 103 degrees.

 

Pedestrians drop dead.

 

There are 2 suns in the sky.

 

The sun stays at high noon for 3 days straight.

 

Your car windows melt.

 

Telephone poles combust.

 

You consider Iraq for vacation.

 

Your bag of ice melts before you get it to the car.

 

You take a frozen pizza out of the freezer and cook it on the countertop.

 

Your car is sagging in the center.

 

The parking lot at Wal Mart is on fire.

 

Green lawns are only heard of in fairy tales.

 

Stop signs wilt.

 

No one but you lives there.

 

You literally drive your car into the ground.

 

You ran a stop light and instead of hitting that other car, you drove right through it like melted butter.

 

Your washing machine even dries and fluffs your clothes.

 

That guy riding the bicycle just started walking because his bike melted while he was riding it.

 

The prison burned down so all the inmates are loose.

 

The cattle at the ranch are well done and the cattle in the shade are medium rare.

 

Rain evaporates before it hits the ground (the Virga effect)

 

Airplanes can't take off because the air is too thin

 

You see people camped out in the freezer section of your local supermarket.

 

your hair catches on fire

 

You have one of those top of the back seat Explosions!!!

 

You had to remove the Hurst T-Handle.

 

You pour in another quart of Valvoline 60wt.

 

Brakes start to fade at 6 mph!!!

 

You need shade for your Tools!!!

 

You burn your ass leaning on the fender of a 68 Catalina.

 

My big floor jack sunk into the street before lifting my Biscayne!!!

 

Tobassco sauce has a cooling menthol effect.

 

Your Pontiac has buried all 3 temprature gauges!!!

 

You have installed Heat-shields for your Heat-shields!!!

 

You can see the dashboard cracking on the car next to you at the red light.

 

Mesa Cops have only written 277 D.U.I.'s

 

Hood Hinges siezed-Up!!!

 

you have a sweaty ass

 

you know it's a hot Arizona day when... the whole state declairs clothing banished Add your own You know it's a hot Arizona day when... Add your own You know it's a hot Arizona day when...

 

you get hot

 

When soliders would rather go back to Iraq because its cooler!!!!

 

you don't need a fire to roast marshmallows!

 

you need new tires daily

 

your car is a sauna on wheels because it has ABSOLUTELY!!! no AC

 

your biggest fear is faling from a bike and getting burned by the pavement birds need pot holders for the worms planes cannot take off from airport cant get thrust over 120f TRUE dairy cows have fans going on them day and night TRUE shopping c

 

The Devil is pissed off, Cause now HELL has Competition.

 

your house go up in fire

 

only exhaust manifold paint won't fade in the sun.

 

blue smoke comes out of your car before you start it.

 

5 minutes outside and you have a 3rd degree sunburn, no matter what color you are.
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